nobody asked for my opinion on harvey weinstein

probably because I've never worked with him. or known anyone who did.

but I do know plenty of men in power that have tried and mostly failed to take advantage of me and other women in my chosen profession. and i do know that i am culpable myself in allowing that kind of behavior to exist because of my own fear and assumptions that "this is just the way the business works." 

acting, probably more than any other career ( though, politics?) is based almost solely on optics and who you know. it's a recipe for objectification and the creation of monsters of voracious appetite. i have been lucky that i'm probably not famous or pretty enough (oh stop) to have had to deal with the real big, well i was gonna say dicks but that's probably not the case, lets go with douchebags. i ask my ambition if i would have the backbone to say no to a harvey like advance and to my shame i don't know if i could. when you value your career more than your person you come to quandaries like these. when you could stand on the oscar podium whats the cost of a massage?

maybe the first steps of my career are tenuous because this is just now the turning point of the allowance of predatory behavior in my industry. maybe something greater than myself is looking out for me because it knows unlike some of these other brave woman, i may not have been able to say no. 

forward into light,

ellie